Jesus Tongue

Future Boss stopped by my office the other night to check in on me. He's six.

He likes to come to my office because it is kid friendly, meaning I've got candy in my office. I also think he likes to come by and taunt me.

He acts like he owns the place. Not yet my little friend, not yet. He comes in starts picking up things and asking what they are just like a typical six year old. After a bit he becomes bored and comes over and starts watching me work. He just stands there looking over my shoulder. Practice for the future I guess.

Out of the blue he says "your tongue is brown". I explained that I'd been drinking coffee all day and that a brown tongue is one of the side effects. He proceeds to stick his own tongue out asking "what color is my tongue?" I take a peek and tell him that it is mostly red but has a little white and blue on it. He quickly pulled his tongue in and screeched at me with a massively contorted face "Well, I AM a Chrissstiannn!!!" Screeched. Like a little demon child. I was frightened.

After prayed the rosary and regained my composure I said "I'm not sure what Jesus has to do with the color of your tongue, but okay." He stared. I turned back to my work.

I can only imagine that there was an association of red, white and blue with Christianity that he learned somewhere. Home, church, who knows. After all Jesus was an American... right? What I do know is that it freaked me out a little; including the way he said it, his scary face while he said it combined with the idea behind it. Red, white and blue = Christianity. Yikes. Those poor hell-bound foreigners. Yeah, I know other countries have those colors in their flags but it's mostly associated with the good ole USofA.

As for Future Boss, I had to scoot him out of my cell or he would have stayed all night. I didn't want to risk another holy explosion. I told him that there were others he could go proselytize and that I needed to make daddy more money by getting back to work. He quizzically looked at me as I shut my door on him.