Don't Touch That

The Asylum is state of the art. Everything is automatic. Everything from the sinks to the garbage cans. Walk into a room and the lights go on, need to throw anything away the garbage lid opens, and when you take a pee the toilet flushes when you step away. You don't have to touch anything. Oh, except the door knobs.

For two months the sinks in the bathrooms on the top floor haven't worked. Put your hands under the faucet and you get nothing. Thankfully I work on the bottom floor and our sinks work. The problem is the kitchen and lunch room are on the top floor.

The folks upstairs don't seem to notice the problem here. They are still using those bathrooms. So where do they wash their hands you ask? THE KITCHEN (if they even wash, some don''t as I've observed). What's the problem with that? Let me tell you. There is a door between the hall with bathrooms and the kitchen. So. To get to the kitchen to wash their hands they have to open the door. A door I never want to touch again.

Call me a germaphobe. Go ahead, call poor schmo a name. The truth is I'm not afraid of the germs I'm afraid of the poo. Feces. Pee. Ew. I just threw up a little in my mouth thinking about it.

If CSI came to the Asylum they'd find a crime scene. They'd pull out the magic glasses and flashlights and find poo on our door knobs. The yellow tape would go up and Grissom would get the last word. That would be it. I'd be put in a room with a one-way window and I'd have to point out the culprits in a line up.

To add to the bad news, the new faucets have been in for over a week and they can't seem to get them installed.