Thursday, February 11, 2010

Don't Take Time Off

There is an unofficial punishment for taking time off from The Asylum. You are lashed with emails upon your return. Lashed like a prisoner... like a... crap! Yeah.

See, the Boss keeps an email folder for everyone in the company. This folder contains just about every email he's ever sent to you. Every.Single.One. When you take time off he thinks of you. Then he thinks of the email folder. Then... BAM! He nails you with about 20 for every four hours you take off. Bam. Bam! BAM!!! He fires them off, one after the frick'n other.

"What's going on with this?"

"Is this done? Yet?"


Wait. Don't go. That's not it. The story's not over.

Not only does he punish you when your gone, he punishes you when he's gone. Because he doesn't want you to ever think that he's not working so he does it when he's off. It's easy for him to pop open that folder and shoot off a few "Status?" emails when the wife isn't looking. Or better yet, he'll call. "Princess is in the bathroom so I've just got a sec. Will you please call So-N-So or Whatshisname and check on the gimsogadget for Jackshoff?" "Uh, aren't you on vacation in Mexico?" "Oh, wait... here she comes... sendmeanemailitgottago!"



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